


Neck Stuff

by minbins



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Choking, DO NOT REPOST MY WORKS I DO NOT CONSENT TO REPOSTING, Explicit Consent, Kevin chokes Jacob, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Mentioned - Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Sunwoo, Mentioned - Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon, Riding, based on kevin being cursed on vlive, blame kevin for the title, moonbae are dating in all but name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:53:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minbins/pseuds/minbins
Summary: “Never know until you try, isn’t that how it goes? Things are always better with you.”
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 32
Kudos: 310





	Neck Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't get the sight of jacob feeling up his own neck while kevin was saying the cursed juyeon stuff on vlive out of my head, so here we are! hope u all enjoy my second contribution to tbzo3 <3 my descent into loving them has only worsened since my first fic in their tag

Kevin talking about choking on one of their joint livestreams should not come as a surprise to Jacob, really, but somehow it still barrels him over. 

Casual as anything, Kevin bares his throat and theorises about Juyeon probably being capable of wrapping his entire hand around it. On instinct, Jacob mirrors his best friend’s movements, and his own hands around his throat send his mind places it probably _should not_ be going. Certainly not while thousands of fans are watching them.

_With Kevin acting it out on himself, Jacob can’t help but imagine Kevin’s hands there on him instead-_

They’re live. 

People are watching. 

Not just _people,_ but people that won’t miss anything if he gives it away. And so Jacob smiles at Kevin with usual levels of adoration, which isn’t hard, and laughs it off. 

***********

“Is that something you’re into?” Jacob asks, after he’s shut off the camera (and double, _triple_ checked that it’s definitely no longer streaming). The specific instance has long passed by for Kevin, who clearly hasn’t been weirdly reading into it like Jacob has. He tilts his head, confused. Jacob’s palms get all sweaty, and he wipes them on his jeans as he sits back down beside him.

“What’re you on about, buddy?”

“The- The thing you, uh, mentioned. With Juyeon. Well, not _with_ Juyeon, you don’t do stuff with him, but-” Wow. Jacob really could not be any more obvious that this is flustering him. “I-” his voice comes out so soft, it’s almost a whisper, “I was just curious. What your thoughts are. On that.”

“With _Juyeon?”_ Kevin still looks lost, if bemusedly endeared by Jacob’s state. “What don’t I do with him?”

Jacob fixes Kevin with a _look._ The ‘you’re being an idiot’ kind. While they don’t have a specific _label,_ or anything, there’s a definite unique quality to their relationship that isn’t mirrored by their general group dynamics. _Fooling around,_ some would call it. Kevin’s word choices are a tad more explicit in that regard. “I don’t know, Kevin. What could I possibly be referring to? What do we do that you don’t do with the other members, huh?”

There’s a very obvious _lightbulb moment._ “Wait, so you’re talking about the neck thing?”

The shyness floods back in, replacing the brief comfort that had come from teasing Kevin about being slow to catch on. “Yep.” Jacob pops the _p,_ trying to sound casual and less like he’s bricking it. He wipes his hands on his jeans once more. “No biggie, or anything — I was just, you know. Curious.”

“Curious about my thoughts on choking, you mean? Like, the sexy kind?” Kevin pulls no punches, just putting the word _right out there._ God. It sounds even worse out loud. 

“Can’t a guy check in on his buddy-with-benefits if he hints at an unexplored… proclivity?” Jacob replies.

Kevin smacks his arm. “Please _never_ use that to describe us ever again.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Jacob concedes. “For real, though. Wanted to check that you starting to go on about your neck mid live wasn’t some weird, vague message or anything.”

Kevin moves nearer, resting his head on Jacob’s shoulder. It’s too close for comfort when Jacob’s this on edge, but he freezes instead of moving away. Something about Kevin this close is as captivating as it is inescapable. “Did you _want_ it to be, man?...”

Jacob pauses for a little too long, then. That in itself says more than words could hope to. “I don’t know.” He _doesn’t_ ‘know’, not for sure. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t curious. “Kinda? Maybe.”

“I’m not sure I’m into that,” Kevin replies honestly. They’re always as up front with each other as they can be, given they’re each other’s only outlet for things like this. It’s just felt natural from the start; Jacob has never trusted anyone quite so much as he trusts Kevin. 

“That's okay-”

“Let me finish, babe,” Kevin cuts him off. 

“Sorry, sorry— go ahead.”

“I’m not _sure_ I am, but if it’s something _you_ want to try, I’m down to experiment. The thought doesn’t do much for me off the bat, y’know, but…”

“But?” Jacob has a feeling that whatever Kevin says next may well kill him.

“Never know until you try, isn’t that how it goes? Things are always better with you.” 

Kevin’s complete openness, even with something like _this,_ makes Jacob’s heart hurt. “You know I love you, right?” He can’t help but say it. At least it isn’t the first time, not some spontaneous confession — they’re used to these words by now. Their relationship is official in all but name, because if Jacob starts actually calling Kevin his boyfriend, one of them will slip up and say it in an interview. They’ve done it with just about every other secret, after all. 

Fond, Kevin smiles back at him. “Mid-talking about choking is a strange time to say that, but sure. Love you too.” He grabs Jacob’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “Juyeonie isn’t getting his hands on this sweet neck, don’t worry. All yours, buddy.”

With _that,_ it grows evident that their conversation has accidentally split into two entirely different conceptions. It makes sense, seeing as Kevin was the one talking about being choked in the first place, but that really isn’t what Jacob is angling for. Quite the opposite, in fact. “That’s not what I _meant,_ exactly.”

“... You... You want Juyeonie to choke me? Cause I can tell you right now, I am _not_ down for that-”

“No!” Jacob hurries to cut in, “Oh my God, _no._ Not that. Did noooot mean that. No.”

Kevin laughs, patting Jacob’s cheek. “You got your point across, man. Neither of us want weird voyeuristic chokey time with Juyeon. Glad we’re on the same page.”

“Uh huh. Yep.” Awkwardness settles in the air as Jacob tries to think of the right words to say. 

Coming to his rescue, Kevin speaks once more. “So, if you don’t want to choke me, and neither of us want _that_ direction that my brain weirdly went in... What is it about me talking about choking that’s got you all stammery? You want me to choke _you_ or something?” Kevin’s tone is light— jokey, even. There’s an edge to it, though. One that hints at the hidden truth he’s stumbled across. 

It flashes through Jacob’s mind unbidden. The thought of it. Of _that._ He feels himself flush, face heating right up and giving him away. “Maybe I do.”

“Mine are hardly Juyeon-sized, Jakey,” Kevin muses. He holds his hands up to the light, considering them. “Would have to use both, I think...” It’s far too casual an air to accompany words that’re making Jacob’s brain overheat and power down. 

“New rule,” Jacob says, grabbing Kevin’s hands and holding onto them. It’s romantic in theory, but in practice it’s him keeping them out of his line of vision. Kevin _hmms,_ watching Jacob’s lips as he speaks. He usually only does that when he’s at least somewhat turned on, so Jacob has hope that Kevin might just be into this too, now that they’ve established Jacob’s dynamic preferences correctly. “No more talking about Juyeon when we’re messing about.”

“Oh, we’re messing about _now,_ are we?” Kevin laughs. The wide, pretty kind that shows his teeth. Like he hadn’t picked up on where this conversation is headed. “Jealous, baby? Don’t want me talking about other men?”

_“Should_ I be jealous?” Jacob blinks, feigning innocence long past. His good-boy persona is just that: a persona. He may not swear, but that doesn't mean he hasn't trained himself out of a gag reflex.

Kevin grabs the back of Jacob’s neck, pulling him close enough that their noses bump together. “Never,” he replies, still moving nearer by the second, drawing out the suspense before the inevitable. They’re sharing breath. “Want me to prove it?”

And, _oh,_ that’s a hand down Jacob’s pants. Kevin smirks, infuriatingly sexy no matter how acclimatised Jacob is to his charm. Jacob hisses, squirming underneath him. _“God,_ Kevin.”

“You want it?”

“I want it.” Jacob won’t deny Kevin the satisfaction of hearing him say it out loud.

“Hand or mouth, babe?” Kevin asks then, a clunky, unsexy sentence that becomes miraculously ruinous in Kevin’s voice. Jacob is so beyond gone for him. 

“I want you to kiss me,” Jacob replies, and that’s answer enough.

***********

**_Kevin:_ ** _[attachment] for you <3 _

**_Jacob:_ ** _Dude did you get hacked? What is that??_

**_Kevin:_ ** _i’m far too intimidating and sexy for anyone to /dare/ trying to hack me !!! B)_

**_Kevin:_ ** _almost went for saying im ‘impenetrable’ but . lol._

**_Kevin:_ ** _u know that isn’t true_

**_Kevin:_ ** _looooool_

**_Jacob:_ ** _You are AWFUL._

Despite his better judgement, Jacob opens the attachment _‘neckstuff.doc’_ that Kevin has just texted him. 

It turns out to be an entire document, footnotes and all, that his buddy-with-benefits (not allowed to call him that) has compiled on the topic of- Well. _Neck stuff._ At the bottom, under the subheading _‘_ _likes/dislikes_ _’,_ there’s a list of questions that vary from mildly sex-related to outright explicit. Each one comes with the _‘Try This?’_ options _Yes, No_ and _Maybe._

Another notification flashes up.

**_Kevin:_ ** _are you like. totally horny for my research skills rn?_

**_Kevin:_ ** _cause i know i am_

**_Kevin:_ ** _footnotes!!!_

**_Kevin:_ ** _ah, if cloning existed… would so totally bang myself_

**_Kevin:_ ** _oops sidetracked._

**_Kevin:_ ** _you goooood jakey??_

Kevin’s chain-texting never fails to make Jacob smile. Even now, more than slightly daunted by the wealth of information Kevin has accumulated on ‘neck stuff’. 

**_Jacob:_ ** _I’m good!! Just,, Reading._

**_Jacob:_ ** _You really went all out on this, huh?_

**_Kevin:_ ** _ofc_

**_Kevin:_ ** _it’s for you, not gonna half-ass it_

**_Jacob:_ ** _(///) ilysm dude_

**_Kevin:_ ** _ilyM_

**_Jacob:_ ** _Debatable._

**_Kevin:_ ** _did you make ME footnotes?? i don’t think so <3 _

**_Jacob:_ ** _I’ll write you all the footnotes you want!!! Just give me a topic >:( _

**_Kevin:_ ** _omg. so turned on rn_

**_Kevin:_ ** _fanning myself like a victorian maiden_

**_Jacob:_ ** _-__-_

**_Kevin:_ ** _ok but fr do you wanna talk once you’re done w/ the q &a section? _

**_Jacob:_ ** _Nearly done with it now ;—; I’m in the room we were gonna do V-App in the other day before we had to leave early_

**_Jacob:_ ** _Okay, done!! I just screenshotted and filled it out like that_

**_Jacob:_ ** _[attachment]_

**_Kevin:_ ** _chanhee is like. Totally judging me rn for how fast i just packed up. but omw_

***********

When he gets back to the dorms a week or so later and they’re suspiciously empty, Jacob just _knows._ Even before Kevin comes to greet him with an enthusiastic kiss, hair still slightly damp from the shower. He’s not sure what tricks Kevin has pulled out of his sleeve to achieve privacy, but he knows why he’s done it. They’ve been hurried off to ‘group outings’ minus a couple members before, after all. They’ve had an _everyone-but-Juyeon-and-Chanhee_ meal together recently, even — Juyeon hadn’t even tried to hide his limping after the fact. 

“How long do we have?” Jacob’s phone buzzes, and he glances idly at a message from Chanhee reading _'k_ _eep it out of communal areas pls. have fun, hyung~~’_ like the hypocrite he is. Like Jacob hasn’t walked in on Chanhee with Sunwoo knelt between his thighs in the kitchen at 4:00AM. Seeing your groupmate getting face-fucked is a _total_ snack-craving killer. Jacob can attest.

He turns his phone off entirely, deciding they can rely on Kevin’s for any warnings, anyway. If they want to have sex on a blanket-covered sofa, they will. They won’t be the first to, but Jacob opts immediately out of any thoughts regarding that.

“Sangyeon-hyung said he’d keep everyone away for a few hours. He’s got a pretty flattering perspective on our stamina, huh?” Kevin laughs. It’s a little strained, like he’s nervous. Jacob sure is.

“Is this weird?” Jacob asks. He knows Kevin will repay openness with honesty.

“A little, sure,” Kevin replies. He’s unbuttoning Jacob’s fancy shirt, because for some reason he’s been put in one today. He resents it— t-shirts are far easier to remove. “The good kind, though.”

Jacob’s shirt falls off his shoulders, and he wriggles a little to help Kevin pull it all the way off. Kevin balls it off and throws it to the side like it has personally inconvenienced him just by covering Jacob up. He really wouldn’t put it past Kevin to say something like that out loud. “You too,” he complains in turn, voice coming out whinier than it usually gets so early into- Well. 

“Keep me on you, yeah?” Kevin says. His words are an inside-joke throwback to when Kevin’s attempt to be sexy the other week had culminated in him falling off the bed. Jacob’s hands eagerly oblige, spanning Kevin’s waist and holding him steady while he arches his back prettily to pull off his tank top. Jacob will never get over how gorgeous his lover is like this.

He never uses that noun out loud with reference to Kevin, though. _Lover._ Doesn’t let himself even think it apart from moments like these. _I love you_ is more easily explained a slip up than calling Kevin any of the words he wants to. 

“You with me, bud?” Kevin asks. Clearly, Jacob’s mini internal angst fest hadn’t been subtle. 

_One day,_ Jacob consoles himself, and moves along. “Aren’t I always?” he replies, trying to chase Kevin’s lips with his own. He fails, Kevin moving away. 

“You _sure?”_ Kevin double checks, “You really want to try this?”

_Kevin thinks he’s worried about the choking thing, right._

Not that he isn’t, for that matter. Like a switch flipping, that’s suddenly all that Jacob is capable of thinking about. _“God,_ yes. If you want to. So much.”

“Then let’s obtain this grain, babe!” Kevin shoots him finger guns, leaning back in Jacob’s lap for maximum emphasis. He almost falls off the couch, typically, but Jacob grabs him around the waist again just in time. “My hero.”

_“Kevin.”_

Kevin bats his eyes sweetly, the picture of innocence. “Yes, my honey, my darling, my love?” He always overdoes it when Jacob says his name like that. Annoyance on some distant horizon, but veering far closer to fond. 

“Remember the rule about saying that in the bedroom— and no, do _not_ point out that we aren’t in a bedroom right now.” Jacob is so in love with him. _God, how is Jacob this in love with him?_

“Doesn’t it _excite_ you?” Kevin retorts, rocking down against him like he’s proving some point. Like how hard Jacob is has anything to do with his wording, and not just his _everything._ “The grain is a _metaphor._ When I say ‘grain’, I mean-”

_“You_ excite me, yes,” Jacob interrupts, voice infused with a long-suffering sigh. He gets through a lot of those, not-quite-dating Kevin Moon. _When Kevin says something weird, you just gotta move on._ “Not grain obtaining, nor any variation of the phrase.”

“Do you think I should just sit on you for this, or sit _on you_ for this?” Kevin muses, mile-a-minute brain already onto the next dimension. “Would it make you more at ease if you were in me?”

_“Kevin,”_ Jacob says again, but different. An entirely different emphasis than the stop-being-so-weird _‘Kevin’._ The kind that makes him throb in his trousers, that makes him worry he’ll soak them through before they’re even off his body. That makes him _whine_ Kevin’s name, needy and desperate. 

“Is that a yes or a raincheck to the dick-sitting?” Kevin checks, “I’ll need to run grab the lube out of the shower if-”

“You left it in the _shower?”_

Kevin looks at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “What did you think I was doing in there exactly, Jakey?”

It drops. Jacob pretends that it hasn’t. They like the game of it all. “Well, I know you washed your hair — you smell like shampoo.”

Ducking against him, Kevin noses at his neck and _bites,_ almost hard enough to cause problems with the makeup artists. He presses a kiss to the same place right after, as if in apology. Jacob knows he isn’t sorry at all. “Got ready for you, babe,” Kevin says then, no dancing around it. “If you need it— if you _want_ it. Do you?”

It seems that Kevin does _not_ feel like ‘the game of it all’ tonight, in fact. Maybe, just maybe, the thought of what they’re trying makes Kevin a little bit desperate too. Jacob can hope for that, at least. 

To be honest, the thought of coming in his pants with Kevin’s hand around his neck makes Jacob a specific brand of turned-on that he doesn’t dare explore right now. There are plenty of opportunities for Kevin to make him cream himself while clothed, though: ones which don’t involve turning down an already-prepped, _beautiful_ Kevin who wants to be filled up. 

“I always want you,” Jacob replies, and that’s that. 

He does.

“Get your dick out, then,” Kevin tells him outright, and rolls gracelessly out of Jacob’s lap to go fetch the lube.

Jacob calls _“you sure know how to romance a guy”_ after him, but obliges. By the time Kevin returns, Jacob is naked and stroking himself idly. Kevin rolls the condom down on him in what might be record time for them, and lubes Jacob up just as fast before swinging his legs back over his lap. The press of his cockhead against Kevin feels hurried, and he loves it like that. Knowing how much he’s wanted. Enough to rush.

“What?” Kevin asks, because Jacob must be looking at him some kind of way, “Can’t a guy be thirsty for his buddy-with-benefits in peace these days? Don’t you judge me.”

Jacob gasps out a laugh, strangled because Kevin is easing down onto him already. “Thought we weren’t allowed to use that, baby?”

“It’s growing on me, what can I say?” Kevin replies, seated against him and squirming a little as he adjusts. Kevin rarely fucks Jacob, but he uses toys on him regularly enough that Jacob knows exactly, _intimately,_ how different fingering feels to being properly full. It takes a moment— several, depending on how thorough they are beforehand. From Kevin’s blink-and-miss-it level of adjustment, he really must have gone to town on himself in the shower. 

There’s a set of keys on the coffee table, and Jacob notices Kevin looking at them conspicuously. 

They had been kind of hard to source, given everything over here seems to be key- _pad_ rather than keys, but Kevin has managed to dig up some from back home. Though Jacob holding something else is an easy alternative, Kevin had wanted to stick by the book. To keep him at ease, Jacob grabs the keys and clutches them loosely in one fist. 

Kevin’s phone has been sitting next to them on the couch thus far, but he picks it up now. Like that’s normal, checking your messages or whatever he’s doing while _sitting on Jacob’s dick._ His own confusion is clarified, however, when Kevin pulls up Jacob’s annotated screenshot of _neckstuff.doc_ on his phone and reads through the responses once more. They’ve had several talks about it before now, but Kevin seems to want the dual reassurance. “You alright, baby?” Jacob checks, just the same. 

“Yes to all of the ‘a little’ questions, maybe to some of ‘medium’, no to all of ‘extreme’ for now,” Kevin reads off his phone. “Those still your answers, yeah?”

“Uh huh.” Jacob’s voice has gotten a little breathier just from Kevin’s objectively unsexy (subjectively _very_ sexy) reading of form responses. “Yes.”

Pulling up a diagram, which is a couple scrolls further down in _neckstuff.doc,_ Kevin holds his phone up next to Jacob’s face for reference. He prods at him here and there, comparing him to the scientific labels on his screen. “Checking the safe parts,” Kevin explains, loosely fitting his hand around him. His thumb digs in a little as he feels Jacob out, fingertips drumming idle patterns against the side of his throat. It’s hardly different to the prodding fingers in theory, but it feels _so_ different in practice. Kevin’s tongue pokes out slightly from between his teeth as he mirrors the demonstration.

It’s cute. It’s sexy beyond belief, too.

“You’re so hot when you concentrate,” Jacob groans, all too conscious of the way speaking makes Kevin’s hand shift against his skin.

“You think anything’s hot when I’m sitting on your cock, babe,” Kevin retorts, still too wrapped up in his phone to really pay attention. 

He isn’t _wrong,_ but this is different. Jacob needs him to understand that— how ruined he is already, a different edge to his arousal than in their usual rolling around. “Kevin, _please.”_

And Kevin looks at him then. Really, _properly_ looks. “Oh,” he says, like the breath has been knocked right out of him. An ironic comparison given it all. He takes in the sight of Jacob, flushed deep and panting, chest heaving from something headier than physical exertion. _“Oh,”_ he repeats once more. Suddenly far less interested in diagrams than in his not-quite-boyfriend, Kevin locks his phone and tosses it aside. 

“Took you long enough, baby,” Jacob smiles, giggling into the kiss when Kevin smashes their lips together all messy. Kevin’s hands run all over his chest like he’s going to fade away or something, and physical grounding is all that’ll keep Jacob on this particular plane of existence. Nipple twisted between Kevin’s thumb and forefinger, Jacob moans against his lips. The sound makes Kevin tighten around him, which makes him moan _again,_ and it’s all one big, perfect chain reaction. 

They’re both shaking now, like they’re shirtless in the midst of falling snow. It’s confounding just how much it can mess you up, doing something different amidst a routine so familiar. Especially like this, with someone they know as well as they know each other. 

Kevin’s hand fits back around Jacob’s neck, and everything else fades out to white noise. There’s no pressure from it yet, but from their discussions they’ve ascertained that _this_ is what Jacob’s most into anyway: just the feeling of it resting there. The implications of their position more than the follow through. Knowing that Kevin _could,_ if he wanted to. From the way Kevin’s eyes flicker between Jacob’s eyes and his own hand around Jacob’s throat, back and forth, he seems to like that too. 

With his free hand, Jacob holds Kevin by the waist, keeping him steady. With _his,_ Kevin braces himself on Jacob’s shoulder. There’s a moment of in-between, of taut, fragile suspense. Wide eyes meet, and find solace there. The keys dig into Jacob’s palm as he grips them tightly. 

“Ready?” Kevin asks. 

“Yeah, you?” Jacob wonders how fast his pulse must feel to Kevin. A hummingbird’s wings. He can’t help but get poetic when it comes to them together. 

In answer, Kevin lifts himself _up, up, up,_ Jacob almost slipping right back out of him, and then drops unceremoniously back down onto his cock. “Born ready, babe,” he replies, infuriating smirk right there on his perfect face. He’s far too smug at how Jacob’s eyes just rolled back a little. If Kevin had a hand to spare, Jacob just _knows_ he’d shoot him more finger guns right now. He can hear it in his voice. “Help me out this time?”

“You’re the actual worst,” Jacob complains all whiny, even as he does just as Kevin asks him to. 

Kevin lets himself fall when he’s only halfway up, and it’s _absolutely_ with the sole purpose of taking Jacob off guard again. It works. Kevin doesn’t even try to conceal his self-satisfaction. “Tell that to your dick, bro.”

“Kevin.”

“Feels like you think I’m the actual _best,_ babe.”

_“Kevin.”_

“Got to say, the heart eyes aren’t helping your case here-”

Jacob cuts him off by kissing him. Self-indulgence disguised poorly as a diversionary tactic. “Shut up.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how this goes, Jakey,” Kevin counters when they break apart, “I’m meant to be shutting _you_ up, no?” He squeezes just a little to prove his point, and Jacob’s mind whiplashes from endearingly frustrated to turned-on out of his mind in .5 seconds. Not that he wasn’t already turned on — Kevin is _sitting on his dick,_ for Christ’s sake, but this- 

This is more.

“Please, baby?” Jacob asks of him. If they keep drawing it out like this, the _few hours_ that Sangyeon promised to Kevin may not be enough. 

Kevin shushes him, briefly resting their foreheads together. He takes a deep breath of his own, and it comes out fractured with want. “I’ve got you.”

It’s all that Jacob can do to cling onto stray vestiges of his own sanity when Kevin begins to ride him in earnest. His lover is surprisingly strong for someone so slim, and has admitted in the past to spending extra time on leg day at the company gyms for this precise purpose. And Jacob can _deal_ with that. Somewhat. He’s accustomed to how stupid-sexy Kevin is when they’re together this way, to how he rolls his hips as if it’s choreo and bounces on Jacob’s cock like he’s got something to prove. It’s devastating, but somewhat survivable in its familiarity.

Kevin’s hand at Jacob’s throat makes this experience anything but familiar.

He’s not quite sure why he likes it this much. All he knows for _sure_ is that from the second he let his sorry brain consider the thought of Kevin holding him like this, it’s been all he can think about. Jacob likes the thought of how he must look, too. _Is that narcissistic?_ Perhaps. He knows he’s pretty, though. Knows Kevin is beautiful, perfect, _his._ Together, Kevin making them moan in tandem, they must be a truly delectable sight.

_Picture perfect, even._

In a world where their very existence wouldn’t threaten both their careers, Jacob thinks he’d like to keep polaroids of them together. Artsy shots of teeth marks bruised into Kevin’s thighs. Nail marks on Jacob’s back. Kevin’s lips stretched around his cock. Vice versa. The possibilities would be endless and beautiful.

Maybe, in the imperceivable future that is _After,_ they can have that. Whatever his future is, Jacob sees Kevin there, and perhaps that’s naive. For them, however, Jacob doesn’t see eternity as much of a stretch. 

They both last longer than this, usually. _Far_ longer, to the point it’s almost inconvenient for two people living life by a rigidly set schedule. Something about their mirrored desperation makes today an exception to the norm. Kevin’s movements are growing sloppier, so Jacob takes extra care to aid him in the rise-and-fall. The loose clasp of Kevin’s hand around his neck is driving Jacob crazy. He knows that his loud reactions to it, unhindered by the usual constraints of group living, are ruining Kevin in turn. 

Still, Jacob will be the first to fall. “Little harder, baby?” he asks. From no pressure in the slightest, a _little harder_ won’t be much at all, but that’s all Jacob needs from Kevin right now. 

“I’m o-on it,” Kevin stammers just slightly, as he often does when he’s veering towards climax. Quick, careful, he double checks his hand is in the right place. There’s a conspicuous gap between palm and throat, just like the research has told him to. Jacob falls a little more in love with him just from the vulnerable caution in his eyes. Stilling in Jacob’s lap for a moment, as there’s no way Kevin would risk jolting around during this first time, his thumb and fingers tighten either side of Jacob’s neck. 

_Fuck._

Jacob almost says it out loud. Already in that mind-loop state of _closeclosecloseclose,_ Jacob finds himself gone pretty much instantly, eyes hazing up from the sheer force of his release. 

Slowly, sluggishly, he blinks the moisture away to bring his Kevin back into focus. He’s whimpering, grinding his dick against Jacob’s stomach to alleviate what must be an impossible level of tension. Rather than holding him by the neck any longer, Kevin now has his arms looped gently around it. Tender. Jacob thinks that he looks beautiful. 

“Was it okay, Jakey?” Kevin asks, thinking of Jacob even now, desperate cock flushed and leaking, “Tell me I did okay for you?” 

Jacob thinks he was right. _About Kevin liking this too._

“It was _perfect,_ baby,” he promises, voice cracking from the intensity permeating their atmosphere. He spits into his own hand to ease the slide, and wraps his hand around Kevin’s dick. _“You’re_ perfect. So good to me.” Letting their foreheads rest against each other once more, not caring that they’re all gross and sticky by this point, Jacob just keeps murmuring praise into their shared air until that and his hand are enough to bring Kevin over. 

It doesn’t take much.

+++

“Would you say that the grain was, indeed, obtained?” Kevin asks him not five minutes later, almost incoherent by the end of the sentence purely from how much he’s already laughing at his own awful joke. 

Jacob has half a mind to throw the wet-wipe he’s just used to wipe cum off Kevin’s stomach right back in his almost-boyfriend’s face. Because Kevin has just been _beyond_ good to him, he refrains. Just. It’s a matter on very thin ice. “You’re lucky I love you.”

"I am."

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this!!! pls leave me comments if you did! i crave validation
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/scbaes)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/scbaes)
> 
> pls kudos too if you liked itttt <3
> 
> \- V xxx


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